I have been privileged to attend several weddings in my lifetime, sadly enough I missed both of my older brothers weddings while I was serving a mission for my church, but this summer I will get to attend my younger sisters wedding. As I have attended, visited, and supported several weddings I have wondered where would a wedding be without the support?
I think it would be in shambles, and probably in Las Vegas at a drive thru chapel, (though who doesn’t want to be married by an Elvis look-alike?) I cannot imagine how a bride and groom could ever pull off an exceptional wedding without the support of many people. I am not talking about the catering, event housing, and the place of wedding. I am talking about the little things many people forget about.
What about the people who suffered multiple paper-cuts while stuffing envelops? What about the ladies who plan the bridal shower? What about the women who purchase multiple gifts for the bridal shower, lingerie party, and reception? What about all the personal expense they suffer in getting a manicure, pedicure, hairdressers, not to mention dresses? What about all the people who help collect addresses, stamp envelopes, address envelopes, address inside envelopes, and write personal thank you notes on behalf of the couple? What about all these unsung heroes? What about those who come from long distances? What recognition do they get? What about those who step in when others are not able to? What notoriety do they receive? The day isn’t about them, it is about the couple.
Lest you men think I am forgetting about you here is my tribute to you. To the groom, who doesn’t get fawned over like a newborn calf every time someone finds out he is engaged, who doesn’t have party after party thrown for him, who doesn’t have much say in the details of things (not that I think he wants it,) who suffers in silence the exasperated wail of a bride in dismay because everything will not be perfect, who nods his head and says, “I love you” when the bride is overwhelmed and in tears. To the men who support the women in their lives in supporting the wedding events. To those who set up events, take down events, and build events. To those who hold multiple cell phones and sets of keys because there is no pocket for any of the women in their dresses. To the men who silently nod their heads when the stress of the event gets too high.
Honestly guys let’s think about it. Sure we do all of these things, but do we really want to do what the women do in getting ready for an event? Do we really want to plan all the little details? Do we really want to pick the flowers, the colors, the fabric, and the lighting? Do we really want to be fawned over and surrounded when we say the phrase “I am engaged?” I would feel like road kill sitting in the blazing sun surrounded by vultures. All we want to have there is food. If we have good food, we are happy.
So really we are grateful for the women. We are grateful they want to plan the details. We are grateful they want to get everything in order. We are grateful when they point at something and say “Go. Do.” That’s the way we work. We see something which needs done and we go for it. I think if we were the ones to plan the wedding we would show up at some BBQ joint with an all you can eat buffet and that would be it. (Some day I hope that happens.) If there were a cake there it would have ice cream in it, who needs the icing.
What am I really trying to say with all of this? I guess it is a tribute, a small thank you, a small form of recognition to those who are quietly working in the background. The un-celebrated, the worn thin, the sturdy and strong support upon which every wedding is built. Without which the wedding would fall to shambles, chaos would ensure, and people would leave (if any came at all) shaking their heads in disgust. To those working in the background, thank you.